Horizon of Heaven

“Horizon of Heaven”
By: David Luong

“Claire…Claire honey are you going to give us an answer, or continue to daydream out the window for the rest of class?” questioned my Pre-Calc teacher as she walked over to my desk peering down at my empty notebook and pointing at the board. “I’ve asked you the same question three times.” “Do you think you can-”

“Five.” I said, almost instantly without taking my eyes off the spot that they had been fixated on since the moment class began.” “The answer’s five, and no, I’m not, because you can’t continue something you weren’t doing in the first place.”

“So what would you call what you were doing then?” she asked, confused.
“The answer’s five. Am I correct?”
“Yes, but you never-”
“Alright then, so it’s five.” And wiping away a tear I turned my attention back to the window…the sky…Tommy.

***

“Do you remember when he spilled the beer all over the table and then drank it up right from there?” “Wasn’t that great?” “It was great right?” “Wasn’t that great?” But she wasn’t laughing. She was crying, sobbing, shaking uncontrollably, and holding me tighter than I’d ever been held in my entire life. Her hair was a mess, and her makeup was running wildly, but comparatively she might have been the best-looking one there…she always was. And her eyes. Those bright, blue, beautiful eyes were the same as always…except today they were like nothing I had ever seen before- strangers, and it startled me. It all did. Why was this happening? Why to him? Why us? I had so many questions and felt so many emotions. I was more overwhelmed than I had ever been in my entire life…ever.
“Yes,” I said, tears streaming down my face…“that was great.”

***

Walking into the room I felt a chill go down my spine. This was surreal. I felt disconnected, like I was watching the whole thing take place before my eyes…except it wasn’t my life at all, it was someone else’s altogether. Then I saw him. But only for a second before I pulled my eyes away, forcing myself to be strong…if not for myself, for them.

First it was my Aunt, his mother.
“Oh Claire, you look so beautiful.” “And your hair…it’s down!” And then a whisper, “for Tommy.” I hugged her and kissed the side of her head, letting my tears fall silently among her shoulders, and then without a word continued on. David-a brother, Danny-a cousin, my brother and his girlfriend, Melissa, a cousin and good friend like me, and then Karen…with those eyes-a sister.

Holding me in her arms she said, “You know honey, I’m so glad you want to become a teacher…that way you can teach people to be kind and loving like he was.” And wiping a tear from her eye and my own I said, “Of course I will…I promise.”

It was getting harder before it got easier, and now the next in line was Danielle…his fiancée. Walking over to her, I started to cry almost immediately. They loved each other so, so much and seeing her like this was practically unbearable. She reached out and pulled me into her, cradling me in her arms and holding me tight against her so I could smell the light scent of her hair and feel her tears meshing with mine. Then in a whisper barely audible she began, “He was always so proud of you. You made him so, so proud. And he’d talk about you all the time. He loved you Claire, loved you so much. And Halloween. You know that was a special holiday to him…I want you to come to Pumpkin Carving with me next year.”

And whispering back in her ear I said with tears still falling, “I wouldn’t miss is for the world.”

There was only one left in the line now, and that was Steven. And reaching him, his and my eyes red from grief, he told me, “You know, he really loved his cousins.”
And I said, “I know…we loved him too.”

***

The last flower had been placed, and the cars were filing away now, but I couldn’t help but notice how the sky looked as we drove off. How the sun could be seen breaking through the clouds as if to say “Cheer up, I’m here.” And it was then that it hit me. That I realized that that was our Tommy. Our sun. Our warmth. Our hope.

***

Dear Ms. Bradley,
I’d call it…talking in class.
- Claire